With An Open Heart

Image of Wheel pose from Universal Yoga Center

Last week work was very challenging both physically and mentally, and I expect this week may be more of the same. I was so glad that I took the time to go to yoga on Sunday morning and to go to the gym today. Being physical makes such a difference in how I feel about myself and about the world around me. Each time I have a really great workout, I feel like I have contributed positively to my own being and also to the person I am capable of being in the world. 
Two memorable things happened this week in yoga- I did my first backbend (also called wheel pose), and my yoga teacher read part of the quote below, which I've been thinking about a lot. Sometimes, it is really challenging to have an open heart and to be our best selves. When we can, however, those feelings of love, generosity, kindness, and compassion that we express to those around us build on themselves. When we express our love and gratitude, it helps those feelings grow not just in ourselves, but also in our communities.

"This scarce human body is acquired after many lifetimes; don't waste this opportunity. Every moment of life is precious. Do not think of yourself as weak and fallen. That which was done up to now, understand that this was unintentional. But now, apply yourself to action fit for a human. If having become a human being you do not obtain knowledge of your Divine nature, it is as if you have sold a diamond for the price of spinach.

The world is in need of love. With an open heart, you radiate the light of love to all those around you. Remember, no impulse of love is wasted. As a lover, rejoice in your state of lovingness, and know that every being who reflects a ray of your love is enlightened by the experience. This is your essential state. It always was and always will be.

Do not allow the pervasive worldly demands of life to constrict your heart. The sun does not use the excuse of clouds to stop shining its light, for it knows that clouds will always come and go. It is your birthright to live a life abundant in love. Make the commitment today to open your heart and let your love flow. No matter what has happened in your past, you have an infinite capacity for love. Please use it, for your own sake and the sake of this precious world."-Swāmī Brahmānanda Saraswatī

A Few Technology Goals

A lot of the goals I've made this year have focused on improving my diet and exercise habits. Although I've also made a few goals about stress-reduction, as the end of the year is drawing closer, I've realized that this is an area where I could still stand to make some improvements. I was thinking about which things in my life cause me to feel stressed and which things help me to feel relaxed. In thinking about this, I've come to the conclusion that my i-phone is contributing both positively and negatively to my health, and my use of it is an area where I could make some changes.

First the positive: My i-phone allows me to download and store a ton of music. I love listening to music when I'm walking, and if I have music that I'm excited to listen to, I'm a lot more likely to walk than I am to take the bus. Extra exercise-yay! Having excellent work-out music downloaded also keeps my time at the gym fun, and keeps me feeling energetic and motivated. But I often wait until I am really sick of the music I have to download more. Why? This must be an area where I'm just really, really lazy. I have a music subscription service through Rhapsody, so I'm already paying for access to lots of music, but I'm not using it nearly as much as I could. Music is one of the things that brings me the most joy in life, and I think it would be great to keep music that I like more present in my life. Goal #48: download new music at least once a month.

Now the negative: I use my i-phone to check my work email a lot, and at times I'd say almost compulsively; when I'm waiting for the bus, when I'm waiting at a restaurant or a coffee shop, when I'm laying in bed at night. Ugh. Having access to my work email via my phone is great when I'm traveling and don't have regular access to a computer, but in my daily life, it just feels like a time and energy suck. I think the best solution is to remove the app I use to check my work email, which is Goal#49 (and is now done!).

The other way my i-phone is contributing negatively to my life is that it is putting a lot of stress on my hands and wrists- especially when I look at my phone in bed. There have actually been times that my hands have fallen asleep when I am doing this, and I know that can't be good. Goal#50 is to limit the amount of time I spend looking at my i-phone in bed to 10 minutes per night (ideally, I'd like to stop doing this altogether, but this seems like a more realistic goal for now).
I can't believe the year is almost over!! Only 2 more goals to go...

Crafty Christmas

My newest goal (#47) is to try to do a better job of using/reusing things I already have before buying new things. I, like many people in the United States, tend to buy and accumulate way more things than I actually need. Sometimes, buying things makes me feel happy in the moment, but later I feel really disappointed in myself for spending money on junk I don't need, for contributing to poor working conditions by buying poorly made mass-produced crap, and for harming the environment by creating demand for a bunch of unneeded junk. Having excess stuff around also makes my house feel cluttered. I live in a small house, and the less stuff I have the more comfortable my environment is. I think it's fair to say that having a clutter-free house greatly contributes to my over-all sense of well-being.
The other positive side of this goal is that when I am trying to reuse the stuff I already have, I feel purposeful, creative, and often have a lot fun being crafty. Last night my niece and nephew and my dear friend Kim (their mother) and I made Christmas ornaments out of craft supplies that I already had on hand- colored paper, buttons, glue, and embroidery floss. I made several more ornaments today, and I also made a garland out of felt scraps. Now I have a bunch of really pretty and unique decorations for my tree and they're all made out of stuff I already had lying around my house!

My New (and Hopefully Temporary) Companions

This week I'm feeling a little down about my health and fitness. I have been having discomfort and tightness in my neck and back for about a month, and this week it reached a point where it has become almost intolerable. I haven't been able to meet my goals around working out or doing yoga because much of the time I am in too much pain, and it's really frustrating.
 I can remember the moment when my neck seized up; it was  after an especially stressful meeting at work, and I felt all of my anxiety and stress settling into the muscles in my back and neck. I felt stiff and terrible, but I assumed it would be a short-lived problem. Unfortunately, when I woke up the next day it was worse. Since then it has fluctuated between mildly uncomfortable and very painful. I have gotten some relief from massage, which was awesome, but after a few days it tightens up again. Right now I am trying a combination of hot packs, home massage with arnica oil,  extra sleep, stretching, tylenol/ibuprofen, and lots of water. Since none of this seems to be doing the trick, tomorrow I'm going on my first ever visit to a chiropractor (Eek! I'm scared!).  If that doesn't work, I'm going to visit my doctor and see what she recommends. So my very sad goal for this week ( goal #46) is to figure out what in the heck is wrong with my neck get it resolved ASAP.

Do the Best You Can and Don't Worry

Recently when I was looking for a birthday card, I found a postcard that has a message that I think is a really important to keep around: "Do the best you can and don't worry".  I can think of few phrases that hold as much personal meaning for me as this one. It is a horrible habit of mine, and I suspect of many people, to dwell on the ways that I'm not successful or on things that might go wrong rather than focusing on what I have accomplished and all of the wonderful people and experiences I have in my life. The saddest part of this habit is that when I spend my time worrying about what might happen or focus on the ways I feel like I've failed, I don't get to fully enjoy or embrace the life I'm living right now. I put the post card on my refrigerator to look at when I start to feel anxious or when moments of self-doubt start to cloud my thoughts. I kind of wish I had a whole box of these postcards so I could give one to everyone I know, since it seems like many of us could use the reminder.

Trying Less Coffee For a Month

Since I've gotten back from my vacation, I've been looking for ways to maintain my feelings of relaxation and well-being. Specifically, I'm trying to pay attention to the habits I have that contribute to stress and undermine my ability to feel like my best self. One of the habits I've gotten into over the past couple of years is to have a second cup of coffee around nine or ten in the morning on days when I am at work. Often, about an hour after I have this second cup of coffee I start to feel tense, and I notice myself becoming impatient and irritable. Last week, I tried not having this second cup of coffee, and I was surprised to find that even when stressful things happened at work, I didn't feel as keyed-up as I often do. Now, that may just be because I'm freshly back from vacation, but it seems like a good opportunity to conduct an experiment. Goal #36: to not have a mid-morning coffee on the days I'm at work for a month. I'll see if this continues to make a difference in my ability to maintain my cool in stressful situations, and if so, I'll plan to cut my mid-morning coffee from my daily routine.

Welcome Back and Happy Birthday Self

Wow, it's been a long time since I posted on this blog-just about 3 weeks. Happily, the reason I wasn't posting is that I was enjoying myself in Hawaii! One of the goals I made before I left for my trip was to try at least one new activity before the end of the year. In Hawaii, it was easy to meet this goal, as I tried a lot of new things. Snorkeling was my favorite new thing I tried, and since I did it without fins, it was great exercise too! I saw many beautiful fish, tons of coral, a few eels, and even some sea turtles! I also tried some new foods: Ono (a delicious type of fish that I had grilled on a salad), green papaya slaw, lilikoi (also known as passionfruit), ahi poke (raw tuna salad with yummy marinade), rambutan (a fruit that looks scary but tastes good), and laulau (in this case they were little bundles of root veggie wrapped in taro leaves). I also ate lots of fresh ripe papaya and pineapple. Lastly, I officiated a wedding, which was a very exciting and fun experience. Getting away was so refreshing and relaxing, and even though I didn't maintain some of my usual goals (going to the gym, riding my bike, eating blueberries, etc.), I feel like the mental health benefits were so great that it far outweighs any physical health benefits that I may have missed out on for a few weeks. Now I'm back and ready to start working on my health and blogging about it again, and right in time for my 39th birthday!

Sweaty Selfie

I had a great workout at the gym tonight, and I was proud of my efforts. You can't really really tell in the picture, but I am absolutely drenched in sweat here. That is partially because I was really pushing myself and partially because the downtown YMCA is not air conditioned, so it is hot as Hades in the summer. I had a funny moment tonight when I was working out, where I felt like a total fraud, and thought that all of the other gymmies were looking at me and thinking "What is she doing here?", but as I kept going and my endorphins started kicking in, I felt like I totally owned the place. This is my 3rd YMCA workout this week. Say what you will about the rain,  but nothing like foul weather to motivate me to spend time at the gym!

New Adventures

Today I went on a fun adventure, and had a completely new experience- something that just doesn't happen often enough anymore. Zach and I went sailing with some friends who are fairly experienced and they showed us a great time. We rented a sailboat from Boston Harbor Marina and headed out into the sound. There wasn't a lot of wind for much of the day, so at times it was pretty slow going, but when the wind was in the sails and we were moving along at a nice clip, it was pretty amazing. We brought some delicious picnic food, listened to  great music, and had a lot of fun relaxing in the sun (with sunblock, hats, and sunglasses of course!).  It was also interesting to be able to get a view of the sound from a boat- I now have a better idea of how visible I probably am to most boats when I'm out paddling. Even though sailing isn't something I plan to do regularly, I really enjoyed doing something new, and this makes me want to add to my list of goals. Goal #30: Try at least one new activity before the end of the year. This can be anything, as long as it is trying something I've never done to keep my life fresh and interesting.

Taking An Afternoon Off From Everything

I haven't posted in almost a week. I've been busy being on call for work, and it was kind of a doozy of a week. When I am on call, even at the times when I don't get called in to work, I just can't relax. Being on call is very draining for me, and at the end of it, I always struggle for a few days to try to figure out how to recharge my internal batteries. This morning, after I was freed of my on-call responsibilities, I was feeling kind of at loose ends about what to do with my day. My body felt too sore to paddle or go to the gym, and my spirit felt too disrupted for me to believe that starting a house project was a good idea. What to do? What I really felt like doing was taking a nap and then laying out in the sun with a book, some popcorn, and several glasses of iced tea. And that's what I did. I just took the afternoon off from everything and it felt great. Being "lazy" is usually hard for me, but like savasana (the relaxation pose at the end of many yoga practices), I think taking time to relax may be just as important for a healthy mind and body as being active and productive is.

Let Free Time Be Free Time

I'm overdue to make a new goal, and for me, this one is a big one. Like a lot of people, I seem to have a really hard time allowing myself mental space from work. Even when I'm not at work, I'm often thinking about work, or working on work projects for "just a few minutes"on my days off. One of the places I find myself spending way too much time on my days off is in my work email.  It is not unusual for me to spend an hour or two of my weekend reading and responding to work emails, and sometimes even more time than that thinking (or worrying) about something I've just read. What would it be like to spend that time going for a walk? Or working on a painting? Or reading a book? Or having a conversation with someone I love? As far as I know, my time on the Earth in this body is limited, and I really don't want to look back and realize that I spent a lot of precious time by trying to be the most responsive and responsible co-worker.  In fact, a few of my co-workers have kidded me about how often I check my email and have admonished me for replying to work emails on my days off. In the spirit of trying to create better work/life balance I bring you goal #19: I won't check my work email on my days off. I know if someone really needs to get in touch, they can (and will) call me at home.

My Sweet Ride

Would you take a look at that pretty piece of machinery? That's right, that's my sweet ride, and these days we're getting out together and taking advantage of the nice weather. I rode to work 3 days this week, and I enjoyed it so much that I think it's time to make a new goal: I will ride my bike to work at least two days a week during the sunny season. Advantages to riding a bike to work (at least for me since I often walk, take the bus, or get a ride with a co-worker):
- easy exercise that just feels like fun
-noticing the beautiful scenery around me
-getting my body warmed up and ready to move before work is nice
-cheaper than driving or taking the bus
-self-reliant, you leave when you want to and go where you want to
-getting to sleep in a little longer than if I'd walked
-time for self-reflection and quiet thought (unlike the bus!)
-great bike bags make it easy to transport lots of groceries without hurting my back
-amazing feeling of the sun on my back and the breeze on my face
-If I get strong enough, maybe I will be able to handle pulling my paddleboard on a bike trailer by the end of the summer!

Epic Paddle

Today I went for a really long (and physically exerting) stand- up paddle with my friend John. We left from Boston Harbor Marina at about 10:00 am, and paddled toward the Evergreen Beach via Eld Inlet. We made it almost all the way there, but finally turned around when we started feeling tired and sunburned. Overall, we probably did about 3 1/2 solid hours of paddling- since we were fighting the tide and also dealing with some pretty intense wind and boat wake, it was pretty slow going crossing over to Cooper Point. There were a few moments as the waves lapped over my board that I actually felt scared, and I had to use all of my core and leg strength to keep from falling off my board. At one point, I commented to John: "Maybe we should go back!", but I was glad we pushed through. Once we got to Eld Inlet, it was a nice, relaxing paddle, and we took a few breaks for snacks, re-sunblocking, and enjoying the beautiful sound. We saw a few seals, lots of jellyfish, and a couple of flocks of seagulls (ha!). Coming back in was also really hard work, and at the end I felt glad to be done. This was by far the longest paddle I've done, and while I enjoyed it very much, it was a hard, intense workout. It's now 9pm, and I still feel a little like I have wobbly sea legs. But I also feel very proud to have accomplished a physical feat that a year ago would have seemed impossible.

"If You Can Feel It, You Can Heal It"

This morning I did yoga at home, using a super cheesy yoga DVD from Ravi Singh and Ana Brett. The DVD is filled with sayings that make me laugh while I am doing the workout, such as: "part of you says no, but the more enduring part of you says: go!". Even though this DVD is pretty silly, doing the workout makes me feel great, and this morning, I was especially moved by a segment called "Meditation to Transform Emotions".  In this meditation, you actively try to feel emotions that are often thought of as negative (sadness, anger, fear) while thinking about a situation that brings these feelings up in you. The idea is that you will have more success changing emotions that are keeping you stuck if you take the time to allow yourself to feel them. While you try to feel each emotions, you also focus on deep breathing. As you let the feelings pass through you and are ready to move on, you finish with a short chant. I think it would also work well with humming or singing as a closing step.  Each time I do this exercise, I am surprised to find how much allowing myself to feel "negative" emotions in relation to events that have triggered them is helpful.

First Paddle Of the Season!

Yesterday I went out for my first paddle of 2013! I went with my friend Eric, who first introduced me to paddling. He gives lessons through his business Poseidon's Finishing School For Stand Up Paddlers. Eric is a great instructor and will help you feel comfortable and confident on a board. If you've ever been curious about getting out on the water and experiencing the most fun workout you've ever had, I highly recommend it!
 I was a little nervous to get back on my board after having been off it for five months, but it was just as fun as I remembered it being, and I don't think I've lost any skills (although I will admit that my neck and back were a little sore today). We paddled from Swantown Marina to Priest Point Park, and since it was a reasonably calm and warm spring afternoon, it was a nice, mellow reintroduction to paddling. The sky was so beautiful, and the view of the mountains was incredible. Being out on the water is such an awesome blend of relaxation and invigoration. That is why I made my goal to go to the gym twice a week during the "rainy season"only- because this summer I think the water and my paddleboard are going to be the only gym I'll want to visit. Yeah!!

Taking Care of Business

This week I took care of some way overdue business- I finally got a referral to see a massage therapist I've been wanting to see for at least a year. Yesterday morning I saw her and got a fantastic massage and also learned some stretches for parts of my body that have been giving me discomfort. Afterwards, I felt like that kitten there on the left. Why did I wait so long? Oh well, happily, goal #12 is now accomplished!

Chehalis-Western Trail

Yesterday I went for a beautiful walk with my mom on the Chehalis-Western Trail. If you haven't been on this trail before, you are in for a treat. It's a flat, paved trail that is great for walking, running,biking, or skating. Spanning twenty-two miles, the trail runs north-south through Thurston County, and then hooks up with Yelm-Tenino trail. We heard many birds on our walk yesterday, and I have also seen families of raccoons and opossums on the trail. One of my favorite things about the Chehalis-Western trail is that some of the trailheads are right off of busy urban streets like Martin Way. You walk for a bit, and then suddenly you feel like you are far away from all the noise and bustle. The plants along the trail are waking up- many of the trees and bushes have little blooms starting to appear, but as you can see on the Thurston County Parks and Recreation site (linked to above), the trail is also a lot of fun in the winter. I can't wait for it to get warm; I think this summer I'm going to ride to Tenino, something I've wanted to do for years but just haven't gotten around to. Spending time walking with my mom out in the sun yesterday was awesome. I felt so relaxed, comfortable, and happy!

Gym Accessories

Fitness ball, Medicine ball, Bosu ball

Pictured here are three of my favorite accessories to utilize in my workouts at the gym. The fitness ball (also called a Swiss ball, a Pilates ball, etc.) has many great uses, and can be useful for working out most of your major muscle groups. There is a pretty comprehensive list here, and I try to work some of these exercises into every workout I do.
Fitness balls come in a variety of sizes, ranging from 14-34 inches, and they are most effective if you find one that is the right size for you. There is a range of recommendations based on height, but since most gyms only have 3 sizes, I typically think smallest=short, medium=medium, and largest=tall. Fitness balls will work best when they are well inflated. You might feel like a total nerd using one of these, but once you try it, you will see just what a great workout they can provide.

The ball in the middle is a Medicine ball. It feels quite a bit like a basketball on the outside, but it is weighted on the inside, generally with sand or steel shot.  Medicine balls are great for incorporating into strength training routines. and most gyms have them in a variety of weights and sizes. The one pictured here is a 5lb ball, and I use it for ab, leg, and arm strengthening.

The last ball (well, half-ball) is a Bosu ball. It is used for standing on and does a great job of helping develop core strength. I have seen people stand on the inflated side, but the way I use it is to balance on the flat side with the inflated side on the floor (as pictured here). I often do free weight arm exercises while standing on the ball for some extra core work, but my favorite way to use the Bosu ball is to stand on it and throw the medicine ball up and catch it repeatedly. If you put on an energetic song and do this rapidly (almost like dancing!) you get in an awesome arm, shoulder, and ab workout very quickly. Standing on the Bosu ball can take a little practice, and most people wobble a lot when they are first trying it. Don't get discouraged! Once you get used to the way it feels, it is actually quite easy to do and looks super impressive too!

Good Fortune

Last night my nephew got this fortune, and when I read it to him he gave me a hug! It's so well put and sweet that I wanted to share it. If you don't like to give (or get) actual hugs, that's ok. You can still give support or comfort to someone who needs it when you have it to spare.

Urban Wildlife

Tonight Zach and I took a lovely walk around Capitol Lake. It was a quintessential Olympia evening- silvery, misty and cool. As we rounded a corner, I noticed a small brown animal munching on the grass. It let us get close enough to take some pictures and it didn't seem scared at all. After looking at some pictures online, I think the animal we saw was probably a nutria. For a time when I was young, my family lived near a creek and one of the ways my parents kept me from going to the creek alone was to warn me of the dangerous nutria that lived in the water. I pictured a sea monster sized animal, with claws and fangs, and it wasn't until I was in my late teens that I discovered that a nutria is about the size of a housecat and totally adorable. At any rate, it was a treat to see this little critter out enjoying a snack. We also saw a blue heron and a bunch of ducks that were bathing and looking for dinner. I feel lucky to live in a place where there are so many beautiful places to explore and enjoy. For those of you looking for a place to get in an easy and relaxing walk, Capitol Lake is just the place. A short, 1.5 mile loop, and especially nice on a weekday evening or a lunch break.